|Q:- I am 32 years-old man, emotional, and get easily involved with women, especially physically. At present I am maintaining a number of relationships with a number of women, Recently, I actually fell in love with a 14-year old girl, whom I teach. We have a physical relationship as well. In fact, I am willing to give up all other relationships and be loyal to her but getting married to her would mean waiting for a long time. Please tell me how I could go about marrying this girl. Can we be happy in our married life? |
A:- My attempt has always been to offer suggestions and allow site-visitors to their own solutions. However, your situation demands a different fact. I must inform you in no uncertain terms that your relationship with this 14-year-old constitutes sexual abuse. You are her 32-year-old tutor and she is not in a position to either understand an adult relationship or rebuke your advances.
As an adult, she expects you to know what you are doing and act in her best interest. Also, as a tutor you have a certain position, a certain power which she has been taught not to question. You should not take advantage that her compliance is consent. This relationship must be terminated at any cost. Your student is not a consenting adult and your continuing to pursue her will cause her problem and can lead you to criminal charges.
| Q:- I am a hepatitis B Jaundice patient. I have a girl friend. I love very much. So what will I do ? I will inform her ? Please give me some suggestion .. |
Sujoy Dutta, Kolkata
A:- Thanks for trusting hindustanlink.com with your problem. Hepatitis B can be sexually transmitted to the would- be wife. Seek a good physicians opinion & weigh the benefits and risk in marriage in case you are going for long term relationship.
As you said that you love your girl friend very much, we suggest you to tell her the truth before it is known to her indirectly, if she really loves you, she will help / co-operate you.
All the best.
Q:- I am 30 year old, married for 4 months. Few days back, I came to know that my wife had physical relationships with couple of men before we got married. She accepted it and I was ready to forgive her. But one of my friend's wife told me that my wife hangs around a lot with her male colleagues and customers. She has advised me to take this matter seriously. But it is hard for me. I love my wife and don't want to lose her. Please help. Sanjay Das, Calcutta
A:- Thanks for trusting hindustanlink.com with your problem. Do not judge your wife by what has occurred in her past. In the present, you have no reason to suspect that she is being unfaithful to you. By listening to others and making your judgement based on her implications you are being very unfair to your wife.
Try to protect your relationship. If you have still have any doubts about your wife, then please discuss with her. It is not about being broadminded, it is about trusting your partner and giving her the freedom to live happily.
| Q:- I am a Hindu Brahmin gal. My family is extremely orthodox, and unfortunately at present I am in love with a Muslim guy. This is known to me that my father will kill me if he will come to know about this but I cant live without him. Please guide me. |
A:-Well after reading your problem the first thing which should be known to me is your age. Because you seems to be a practical girl and as so your lover should be. For such decision you should be damn strong and you first check it out whether it is true love or just an infatuation, because sometime we call love to just an infatuation. And any quick decision can spoil the life of yours and your lovers too. But if you think that its not just the infatuation then I think nothing can stop you people. Although the society and families will obviously create troubles , at that time you both will have to think sharply and act strongly, but keep your mind open and eyes wide. First sit and decide how important is families to you, then the importance of religion for both of you, then the strength of your love and last but not the least whether you are financial independent or not. Because all these factor matters in long term
relations. And if you both thoroughly go through all these things and find no doubt is there then you can go ahead. Nothing can stop you, and I personally wish both of you good luck.
Q:-I am a divorcee. My problem is like I got attracted to my brother-in-law who helped me a lot in my divorce process. He is years younger to me but I love him a lot. But don't know whether he loves me or not. What should I do in such situation? how do I gauge his true feelings?
A:-you are caught in a cleft stick. Well here you did not wrote the reason of your divorce, because in India we found that most of the divorce caused by the pressure of joint family. And if your case is also the result of that then I do not think that again in that family is advisable. Anyway, as you are divorcee so after an interval you are feeling yourself all alone, and in a great need of good friends and company.
This loneliness only helped you in getting attracted with your brother-in-law. No doubt he adores you a lot but do not make the mess of your life, because you do not know whether he is in love or not and as you said you are elder to her, so might be he helped you due to his morality, might be he found that his brother did wrong to you. As he is younger he may be finding a younger women for his life, as generally an Indian man do. So its better to live the life as its going and if something would be there in that side then he himself will propose you ,that time you can give a thought in it. Otherwise let him worship you, rather than he lose respect for you.
Q:- My boyfriend is a kind of unromantic guy. Although I know that he is really warm, kind and loving from the heart but he is just unable to express his tender feelings. I wish he could take me to movies,
restaurants, have candlelight dinner and blow air kisses but ........He sometimes seems to be a piece of furniture not more than that. How do I make him ardently passionate and exuberant?
A:-Your problem sounds quite interesting, because I found a girl like who love his boyfriend for his qualities but also desires to change those too. See in this world we got both quantity and quality of the people. Your boyfriend is an introvert sort guy as I came to know through your letter. You yourself told that he is loving, so do you think that expressing love through all those mediums is better or his real love is? Now its your turn to recognize his inner love for you. Although you are also right at certain extant but I think the qualities which you like in him should be maintained .And personally I like the guys of the kind of your boyfriend, believe me.
Q:- I am a 28 years old. I love a girl in our locality since last five years, we generally freak out. But the problem is now her parents are pressuring her to get married. I want to marry her but I realize that I cannot provide her financial stability as I am an unemployed. Yet I can't see her with someone else. Please help me out.
A:-You seems to be quite practical personality as you know your position and accepting it. But unemployment till this age sounds a bit annoying, because financial stability no doubt can make as well as break a
marriage, if you really want to hold her hand then you will have to assure her parents about your financial condition at present and also about the future. And after that if her parent can wait then only you should think further. Otherwise forgetting her and wishing her a happy married life is the only advise from my side.
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From Oprah Romance Expert