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Kissing Connectivity
A kiss can mean so much, or nothing at
all. Remember when you were five years old and you thought
kissing was yucky? It wasn't until adolescence that the
meaning of a kiss was slowly revealed to us. Between giggles
we confessed our first kisses, our secret initiation into the
"adult" world. No one talks about kisses anymore. Oh, we read
about them in romance novels or see them on the big screen,
but no one discusses them in hushed whispers between blushes
and giggles. We are adults. Kissing is commonplace for us now.
Most of us kiss our partners without thinking at least once a
day. But shouldn't a kiss always be special?
What is a kiss?
A kiss is more than the sharing of lips
and breath. It is a mingling of hearts and souls. A slight
tingle, a funny feeling in the tummy, a racing heart, is to be
expected. A kiss is an intimate connection to another human
being and a simple way to express love and affection.
The first kiss
The anticipated first kiss is one that we
both long for and dream about. And, whether remembered as
sweet and tender, shy and hesitant, or as bumped heads and
noses, we don't forget it. A kiss is a thing of wonder. We
wonder if and when the object of our affections will bestow us
with a kiss. We wonder if our knees will get weak, our pulse
will race, or if it will be a dud. So much depends on a
kiss.
Does he like you? You went to see a movie
with subtitles and he seemed to like it. Does he really like
foreign movies or is he only trying to please you? Will he
call you again? You go out on your second date. And then,
somehow, you kiss. Your heart soars. He likes you! Could this
be love?
Women do read more into kissing than men.
Some say that it can make them feel attractive, cared for, and
even boost their self-esteem. Women unconsciously use kissing
as a barometer for how much they're respected, valued, and
loved.
The passionate kiss
You can't wait to feel and touch each
other. Your mouths and hands are busy, your hearts are
pounding, and you can literally see sparks fly. Passion is a
wonderful thing. It makes us feel more alive, more connected
to our partner. But, realistically, one cannot expect passion
in every kiss. Kisses can range from slow, sweet ones to
urgent, fiery ones. Moreover, it us unrealistic to expect
passion every single day of our lives.
How many times in books, the movies, and
in real life has it been proven that a relationship built on
passion alone cannot survive?
Without a deep, emotional connection
between two people, a lasting love cannot thrive. And by
lasting love, I mean one that can withstand the ups and downs
of every day life. Factors like compatibility, similar values
and goals, mutual respect, trust, and friendship should be
weighed alongside physical attraction. A passion that feeds on
itself will eventually burn out.
Are you and your partner in a romantic
rut? Have your kisses with your partner lost their zing
lately? Don't throw in the towel just yet. As your
relationship continues to grow, continue to grow the passion.
If you and your partner concentrate on feeling an emotional
connection with each other, you will make a passionate
connection as well. For couples who have been together for
some time, kissing isn't as exciting as it was when you first
started dating, But you need to continue to make kissing a
priority. Passionate kissing is great but one of the goals of
kissing is to stay connected.
The perfunctory kiss
"Bye, Honey. Have a nice day," we say with
a quick peck on the lips as we leave in the morning to start
our workday. It's part of the routine. Just one more thing to
do on our way out of the door. Often, once the days of
courtship are over, couples tend to fall into a routine, which
is anything but romantic.
A kiss can communicate so much. Love,
tenderness, passion, and devotion, to name just a few. It can
also serves as a barometer of a relationship. Kissing is a
part of the daily interaction a couple shares. It can send
spontaneous and frequent signs of affection and love.
In the early stages, we kiss our partners
a lot because we need the reassurance that a kiss can bring.
Once we are settled into a relationship, we need less
reassurance because we feel more secure in our partner's love.
But, as time goes on, there is the danger that a couple will
stop expressing their love with kisses. The kisses start to
taper off. You only kiss hello or good bye or while making
love. The love that is between you, while cherished, is not
something that you think about anymore. It is just there.
Sometimes spoken, sometimes not.
No one likes to be taken for granted,
especially not your partner, and your love shouldn't be
either. A kiss is such a simple way to keep the love you and
your partner share alive. Both you and your partner owe it to
each other to work at keeping the love and passion alive. Yes,
love requires work too. Anything worth doing or worth having
does.
While it's great when you and your partner
are on the same passion scale, there will be times when one
partner will go through a quieter time sexually. Don't take it
personally or withdraw. Stay connected by talking and touching
and giving them space.
The progression from special first kisses
to the perfunctory married kind. Kissing is commonplace for
many of us now, kissing our partners without thinking at least
once a day. But shouldn't a kiss always be special?
Kiss to love, love to kiss
Many of the small things that we do make
a huge difference on the overall health of our relations. Even
the peck-on-the-cheek, done the right way, could signal a lot
of love and affection to your partner. Read on to find out
more about such intimate signals.
Remember how special you and your partner
are together.
1. Be creative. Kiss your partner's
forehead, eyelids, cheeks, nose and chin, before kissing your
partner on the mouth.
2. If you don't like your partner's
kissing style, tell them gently how you would like to be
kissed. Better yet, show them.
3. Gently caress your partner's hands,
neck, or back as you kiss. Make it more than a mere meeting of
the lips.
4. If you don't have time for a "real
kiss", make a verbal promise of "Later." You and your partner
will have something to look forward to and you will have put
the magic of anticipation back into your relationship.
Other daily steps to intimacy:
1. Really listen to each other.
2. Be there for each other.
3. Touch each other.
4. Go out on a "date" at least once a
month. Maybe even re-create your first date.
5. Have a candlelight dinner.
6. Plan a special day together for just
the two of you.
More passion tips
1. Have a "How's your love life?"
conversation. Ask your partner to rate their level of passion
and intimacy on a scale of 1 to 10. The very act of having the
conversation increases the level of satisfaction for both of
you.
2. Write a love letter to your mate. Make
it a little unpredictable. Throw your partner off guard by
saying things you don't normally say.
3. Agree to take turns initiating
affection so it doesn't always fall to the same partner.
4. Every once in a while, schedule passion
on your calendar in advance. Focus on your "appointment" in
the hours preceding so your passion and excitement has time to
really build.
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