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Bisexuals
Bisexuals
are men and women who achieve sexual or erotic attraction to members of
both sexes. Usually, but not always, the bisexual person engages in
sexual activity with partners of both sexes. Slang terms referring to
bisexuals are "AC/DC" (based on the term used to describe two
types of electrical current), "switch-hitters" (a baseball
term describing a batter who hits from either side of home plate
depending on who's pitching), or people who "swing both ways"
(another baseball phrase, but may also relate to swinging as sexual
behavior).
Compared to
heterosexuality and homosexuality, very little scientific study has been
conducted on bisexuality. Based on the studies that have been done, it
appears that bisexuals are not people whose orientation is fundamentally
homosexual but who have some heterosexual sex on the side. Nor are they
people whose orientation is fundamentally heterosexual but who enjoy
homosexual sex on the side. Also, fundamentally, they are not people
who, at one point in their lives, engage in sexual behavior with persons
of one sex and then, at another point, engage in sexual behavior with
persons of the other sex, although this pattern of sequential changes is
sometimes called transitional bisexuality. Rather, bisexuals are people
who are sexually attracted to persons of both sexes during the same
general time period in their lives.
It is thought that people
develop and experience bisexuality in a number of different ways. For
some it begins as a form of experimentation that adds a spark to their
sex lives, but it does not become the main arena of sexual activity. For
others it is a deliberate choice to participate in whatever feels best
at the moment. Three particular sets of circumstances have been thought
to be conducive to bisexuality: (a) sexual experimentation in a
relationship with a close friend is quite common among women and can
also occur between two male friends or a male homosexual may develop a
sexual relationship from a previously casual but friendly relationship
with a woman. (b) Group sex is another avenue for bisexual
experimentation. (c) Finally, some people adopt a bisexual philosophy as
an outgrowth of a personal belief system. For instance, some women who
have been active in the women's movement find they are drawn closer to
other women by the experience and translate this closeness into sexual
expression.
Men who are bisexuals are
likely to experience homosexual attraction and engage in homosexual
experiences before they become aware of their bisexuality. For women, on
the other hand, the trend is to experience heterosexuality first.
Although persons with a
bisexual orientation do not fit simply into any one mold, there are a
few patterns that may apply to many bisexuals. Some men and women seem
to alternate their choice of sex partners randomly, depending on
availability and circumstances. Some have committed relationships in
this fashion, seeking a partner of the alternative sex when the current
relationship ends. In other cases, a bisexual person may have
simultaneous relationships with a man and a woman. Affairs during a
lasting relationship may also be used to express one's bisexual
orientation. Most often, whichever of these patterns applies, people
with bisexual orientation have a tendency toward more relationships with
one gender than the other.
Researchers who have
studied female bisexuality note that some women who identify themselves
as bisexual say that they have some emotional needs that are best met by
men and others that are best met by women. Some bisexual men offered
this explanation too, but much more often the male bisexual explains his
sexual lifestyle in terms of a need for variety and creativity.
People usually discover
their bisexual orientation later in life than either heterosexuals or
homosexuals. The majorities of people model the heterosexual lifestyle
and drift into bisexual relationships without consciously thinking about
it initially. Most individuals who discover their attraction to the same
sex try to deny their interest and attempt to fit in with the more
socially acceptable heterosexual lifestyle for a while. Usually by
adolescence there is increasing internal conflict about their sexual
preference that may not be fully resolved until adulthood.
Because it is commonly
thought that people are either heterosexual or homosexual, even by
people with bisexual interests, these people seem to struggle for a
longer period of time trying to conform to one lifestyle or the other.
It is common for people to be well into their 20's or 30's before
accepting their bisexual orientation. Society's definitions of what is
normal, appropriate, right and natural have an enormous influence on how
bisexual people feel about their sexual orientation. Given the negative
bias toward bisexuality, it is not unusual for women and men with a
bisexual orientation to feel alienated from and oppressed by both the
heterosexual and homosexual communities. For them, this can raise
serious questions about their sexual identity. Bisexual people have
problems similar to those that homosexual people have in "coming
out" and making their orientation known to family and friends
Someone who is bisexual
may often find it harder to start and maintain relationships than people
of heterosexual or homosexual orientation. Because bisexual people are
both different and often misunderstood, those who do not have a bisexual
orientation may be rejecting or feel that a relationship with a bisexual
person could not be valid or rewarding. Jealousy, which can be a problem
in any relationship, is particularly likely in a relationship in which
one partner is bisexual. If both partners are bisexual the possibilities
for jealousy may be even greater. The threat of such widespread
competition can be very stressful to a couple that is not secure in
their relationship.
There is much more to be
learned about the nature of bisexuality and perhaps as bisexual people
become more accepted in society, scientific studies will contribute new
information to what is currently known.
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Sex
