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Foreplay
Foreplay
refers to a wide variety of erotic stimulation that precedes
"real" sex or sexual intercourse. However, behaviors that
commonly are labeled as foreplay are pleasurable sexual activities in
their own right and need not be thought of only as preliminary to other
activities. In the era of AIDS, there has been growing emphasis on
sexual contact that does not lead to intercourse. Some forms of this
behavior, in which orgasm occurs without inserting the penis into the
vagina or any other body cavity, have been referred to as outercourse.
As part of a broader
sexual interaction, foreplay is considered to be an essential component
that stimulates and prepares the body and the mind/emotions to move
through the phases of the sexual
response cycle in preparation for orgasm. Touch is a key element of
foreplay because the surface of the body is covered with many receptor
cells (nerve endings) that transmit pleasurable sensations to the brain.
Some parts of the body, particularly the clitoris, penis, nipples,
fingertips, palms, lips, tongues, and soles of the feet have more
densely packed nerve endings. These sites are sometimes called the erogenous
zones, although, in fact, the entire surface of the skin has been
referred to as the body's largest sex organ because all forms of
pleasure during foreplay are transmitted through the skin. Consequently,
caresses, hugging, holding hands, and related acts of physical intimacy,
in addition to expressing key cultural meanings about caring, safety,
and arousal, are important acts of foreplay. Many people also find light
touching or tickling of the surface of the skin to be especially
stimulating. Back rubs and massages(with or without massage oil or other
artificial lubrication) are considered to be very erotic by some. Others
prefer more intensive hand to body caressing and exploration of the
erogenous zones, commonly referred to as petting.
Individuals vary
considerably in terms of which of the potential erogenous zones they
find to be most sensitive. Some people like to have their neck stroked
or kissed, an experience that conveys great pleasure and sexual
excitement. Others enjoy having their fingers and/or toes nibbled or
sucked. Many people find kissing to be the fundamental act of foreplay.
Kissing involves a range of behaviors from very light lip-to-lip
contact, to what is often referred to as "deep" or French
kissing, in which partners rub their tongues against each other and over
other mouth surfaces. Generally, kissing is considered to be an
extremely intimate and pleasurable act because it involves direct
face-to-face contact and because the mucous membranes that cover the
lips and mouth have an especially dense supply of nerve endings. Some
individuals are particularly sensitive around their ears, inner thighs,
or lower stomach, while breasts and nipples (for both women and men)
often are highly preferred places for caressing and oral stimulation. In
addition to various sites around the body, most people are quite
responsive to manual or oral contact with their pubic area, although the
precise spot that is most arousing varies. For men, the underside of the
full length of the penis, the head of the penis, the scrotum, or the
area between the end of the scrotum and the anus (called the perineum)
are often quite sensitive. Oral stimulation and sucking of these areas
is referred to as oral
sex. Oral stimulation of the penis is called fellatio.
For women, the clitoris, vulva, and surrounding areas are especially
sensitive. Oral stimulation of these areas, especially to the point of
orgasm, is known as cunnilingus
. There has been considerable discussion in recent years of various
highly sensitive spots within the woman's vagina. The most discussed is
called the "G-spot",
named after its discoverer, Dr. Ernst Grafenberg. It is a small location
inside the vagina on the anterior wall just behind the pubic bone.
Stimulating this site is reported for some women to set off the
production and ejaculation-like expulsion of fluid from the Skene's
gland, the female counterpart of the prostate gland. For both women and
men, anal stimulation may be highly stimulating (although others may
find manual, oral,or penile
stimulation of the anus to be repulsive).
It is sometimes said that
the human body's most erogenous zone is the mind. Foreplay, as a result,
is not merely an issue of physical stimulation but also one of emotional
and mental stimulation. Some people, for example, are stimulated by the
physical location and setting in which foreplay occurs. For some, public
displays of affection are highly erotic. Most people are also responsive
to verbal stimulation and can become aroused by compliments and strong
expressions of affection and caring. Some have personal fantasies
about particular locations or activities that they find highly
stimulating (e.g., a warm fireplace on a cold night). Consequently,
arranging locations or the role-playing of particular desired
interactions (sometimes in costume) may be incorporated into foreplay.
Some fantasies may
involve activities or circumstances, such as acts of dominance
or submission, that are only pleasurable as fantasy and would be
otherwise unacceptable. Generally, these activities require open
communication, a fair degree of disinhibition, and a willingness to
appease one's partner. For some people, even light to moderate pain may
be stimulating. Biting or light scratching are common acts of foreplay,
but some people prefer spanking or other forms of light physical
punishment. Bondage is also considered quite arousing by some people.
Acceptance or rejection of these behaviors varies, and unless a behavior
is mutually enjoyable it will not contribute to providing the pleasure
and sense of deep relaxation that is the central function of foreplay in
human sexual interaction. Various rubber and electrical devices (such as
vibrators), sometimes called "sex
toys," have become popular in recent years. These are readily
available in many areas at stores that specialize in adult merchandise.
Generally, these stores also sell sexually explicit magazines and
videotapes, which some couples incorporate into their foreplay
activities.
The basic ingredients of
foreplay are physical and mental/emotional stimulation, trust, and the
expression of caring. Acts of foreplay that some individuals or couples
find highly erotic may be completely unacceptable to others.
Consequently, open discussion, sensitivity, and acceptance are vital to
a healthy approach to foreplay.
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Sex
