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Oral
Sex
Oral Sex or
oral-genital sex means both mouth contact with the vagina, which is called
cunnilingus, and mouth contact with the penis, which is called fellatio.
Cunnilingus comes from a Latin word for vulva (a woman's exterior sex organs),
cunnus, and from the Latin word for licking, lingere. Fellatio comes from the
Latin word fellare, meaning to suck. Either form of oral sex can be done with
one partner stimulating the other individually, or both partners can stimulate
each other's genitals simultaneously. Oral sex given simultaneously is commonly
called 69, or, the French translation, soixante-neuf. This is because the body
position of a couple having mutual oral sex resembles the numeral 69.
Cunnilingus and fellatio are
common sexual behaviors for both same sex couples and couples of different
sexes. There are various combinations of positions and techniques used in oral
sex, but it is the mouth and tongue that provide the pleasure in all cases.
Kissing, licking, sucking and nibbling can feel good anywhere on the genitals of
both men and women. The pressure (light, firm, and in between), speed (fast,
slow, or changing), and the type of motion used can be varied endlessly to
produce different sensations. In both practices, the warm, moist feeling of the
mouth and the tongue on the genitals can be very erotic. Some enjoy a teasing,
stop-start approach, while others prefer a more steady type of stimulation. In
one fellatio technique, known as the Snaky-Lick Trick, the "trick" is
to tease the underside of the penis head almost imperceptibly with the very tip
of the tongue, just making ever so slight tongue contact with this sensitive
area in one light upward lick, and then backing off for about fifteen seconds
between each lick. This trick has been said to result in a powerful ejaculation
in a very short time. Other methods of fellatio include sucking the glans or
shaft of the penis by engulfing it in the mouth, licking at various parts of the
penis and scrotum, or nibbling anywhere along the genitals. Many men enjoy
having the scrotum lightly stroked during fellatio and the area just beneath the
scrotum is often quite sensitive to touch or oral massage.
Some people are uncomfortable
performing fellatio because they have a sensation of gagging when they take the
erect penis into their mouth. This real physiological event, known as the gag
reflex, is triggered by pressure at the back of the tongue or in the throat. If
a man, in his excited state, pushes his penis too far into his partner's mouth,
the gag reflex may take over. One way to avoid this problem is for the person
giving the oral sex to grasp the penis along the shaft to control how much of it
enters the mouth. Another common objection to fellatio is having the man
ejaculate in his partner's mouth. A couple can agree in advance to have the man
remove his penis from his partner's mouth before ejaculation. Others don't mind.
They either rinse the ejaculate from their mouth right away or they swallow it.
The ejaculate, on average about 4 cc, consists of proteins and sugars and
reportedly contains less than 36 calories.
Cunnilingus, like fellatio, can
be performed in many ways. Women's preferences vary, but commonly enjoyed
techniques include gentle tongue movements over the clitoris, more rapid,
focused licking, or sucking the clitoris either gently or in a rougher fashion.
Other forms that women enjoy are oral stimulation of the clitoris combined with
fingering of the vagina; licking and kissing of the lips just outside the
vagina; having the tongue thrust in and out of the vaginal opening; and having
the clitoris stimulated by hand (her own or her partner's) while oral
stimulation is directed at other parts of the genitals.
Not everyone has or enjoys oral
sex. Many people who try it enjoy oral sex, but others have reservations about
it. These reservations tend to fall into three arenas: first, that oral sex is
unhygienic; second, that there is a taboo against it; third, that it is not a
true expression of femininity or masculinity.
With regard to the matter of
hygiene and oral sex, neither vaginal fluid nor semen is harmful in any way.
This of course is true only in persons who are not infected with a sexually
transmitted disease (STD). Everyone should be sure that they themselves and
their partners are free from STDs before engaging in any sexual activity. No
disease can be passed by oral sex that wouldn't be transmitted by any other kind
of sex. If one partner has a STD the other is likely to catch it whatever they
do together sexually. In short, oral sex between healthy people is safe and
clean. Another hygiene aspect that concerns some people is genital odor. Simply
washing the genitals is sufficient to prepare you for any sex, including oral
sex. It is not necessary for women to douche before having oral sex, but some
women choose to do so. However, douching can wash away the helpful bacteria that
naturally protect the vagina. In addition to a man's natural genital odors, the
genitals often take on the smells of recently eaten foods. As with women,
thorough washing can reduce this odor, and besides, many people find some degree
of genital odor in their partner stimulating.
The notion that oral sex is taboo
discourages some people from ever trying it. Oral sex has long been frowned upon
and often deemed illegal. The basis for the social disapproval and legal
restrictions lies in age-old religious prohibitions, which to some are still
very powerful. People who accept and practice almost any of the major Western
religions can therefore feel confused and guilty about engaging in oral sex,
despite their knowledge that it is a safe and appropriate form of sexual
expression. In the end, each individual must decide for him or her self whether
to stick to the teachings of his or her religion or to act in favor of what
seems personally right for them.
For some people, the issue is not
conflict with their religious beliefs as much as it is a belief that it somehow
compromises their masculinity or femininity. Some people incorrectly think that
cunnilingus and fellatio are homosexual acts, even if experienced by
heterosexual couples. While homosexual couples do engage in oral sex, so do a
majority of heterosexual couples. The activity itself is neither homosexual nor
heterosexual. Apart form the misconception about oral sex and homosexuality,
women sometimes feel that performing oral sex can make them feel submissive, as
if they are giving a service and are thereby inferior. Men sometimes feel that
performing oral sex on their partner reduces their masculinity because their
penis is not involved. Couples should openly discuss these issues, and if
necessary seek the help of a qualified therapist.
Fortunately, many people are free
of negative feelings about oral sex and have chosen to include it in their
sexual repertoire. However, it is just as okay to choose not to participate in
oral sex as it is to do so. Oral sex, just like any other sexual behavior, is a
matter of personal preference.
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Sex
