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Sexual
Guilt
Sexual guilt
refers to a feeling of grave responsibility and deep remorse associated
with participation in or even thoughts and fantasies about sexual
activity. Individuals who feel guilt related to sex or particular sexual
activities generally believe that sex (or a specific sex act) is
immoral, sinful, or unclean. The understanding of guilt associated with
sexual activities began with the work of the psychoanalyst Sigmund
Freud. While many people, including many psychologists and
psychiatrists, reject a Freudian approach, his ideas are of interest as
a starting point for understanding sexual guilt. Freud maintained that
libido, or the sexual instinct, is one of the core drives in human
behavior and personality formation. From birth, a child receives
messages from its parents about what are and are not acceptable ways of
expressing sexual desire, as well as messages about approved or
disapproved attitudes toward sexual issues. These social hindrances on
the free and open expression of basic desires contribute to the
formation of three distinct aspects of the human personality, according
to Freud. First, there is the id, a combination of the most primitive
drives and the psychic energy needed to initiate actions designed to
satisfy these desires, including the desire for sex. Next, there is the
ego, which refers to an executive function in the human mind that takes
in information from the body's sense organs about the external world and
directs the day-to-day fulfillment of sexual and other desires in
socially acceptable and achievable ways. Finally, there is the superego,
consisting of the learned and internalized social standards of behavior
received from parents and others, including an understanding of banned
or punishable behaviors. The superego is our conscience; it consists of
internally held values about what is right and commendable, on the one
hand, and what is wrong and condemnable on the other. Transgression of
superego standards leads to guilt feelings as well as to a sense of
remorse, anger directed at oneself, and a loss of self-esteem. These
transgressions need not be actual behaviors, such as participation in
banned sexual activities. They may occur in dreams or fantasies as well.
Normally, when we are awake, the mind maintains strong boundaries
between the id, ego, and superego, but during sleep and in fantasy these
boundaries may weaken, allowing open expression of otherwise controlled
sexual or other desires. Conscious awareness of these unrestrained
desires and fantasies is another source of sexual guilt.
While Freud thought of
his analysis of the forces that shape personality as universal,
cross-cultural studies suggest that many of his ideas are most
applicable to Western societies, especially to the Judeo-Christian
tradition. Western missionaries, for example, were surprised to discover
that the Japanese traditionally did not evidence much guilt associated
with participation in sexual activities; rather, guilt in Japanese
society was generally associated with a failure to fulfill internalized
values about responsibility to one's family. This realization has led to
considerable discussion of the relationship between Christianity and its
emphasis on moral absolutes (e.g., sins) and the emergence of sexual
guilt. The early Christian church, for example, banned sexual
intercourse even among married couples during many days of the year
(e.g., for 40 days before both Easter and Christmas and from the time of
conception until 40 days after the birth of a child). Further, enjoyment
of sex and sex for nonprocreative purposes have been condemned within
this tradition (although certainly not by all Christians). Some
observers have suggested that the strong restrictions placed on sex and
the constant emphasis on sex as a moral shortcoming in Western culture
may only have succeeded in fostering an underlying obsession with sexual
objects and activities.
Some psychologists
differentiate two forms of sexual guilt. The first is called
"morning-after guilt", which involves conscious recognition of
feeling sinful after the breach of a specific internalized value, such
as having sex outside of marriage. The second type is "latent
guilt", stemming from a pervasive belief that sex in general is
inherently wrong or dirty. Individuals with latent guilt commonly
believe that sex is personally degrading and associate it with base,
animal instincts. Individuals with these values tend to view sex as an
expression of lack of self-control. In such instances, a person may feel
guilty even without actual involvement in sexual activities. Such a
person is sometimes described as having a guilt-laden personality. This
personality configuration often is associated with an inability to enjoy
or consciously desire sex, lack of awareness of sexual feelings,
inability to admit sexual arousal, and inability to experience orgasm,
which have, in turn, been found to be common sources of problems in
marriages and in other relationships. Further, latent guilt has been
found to be highly associated with a diagnosis of sexual dysfunction,
depression, or diverse psychosomatic illnesses.
Other negative outcomes
have also been found to be associated with sexual guilt. Failure to
admit or accept one's sexuality can block a person from taking
precautions (such as the use of condoms) to avoid unwanted pregnancy or
exposure to a sexually transmitted disease including HIV/AIDS.
Consequently, individuals who have a high level of sexual guilt may be
at a heightened health risk because they are emotionally unable to
employ safer sex behaviors that involve taking conscious responsibility
for sexual acts. Additionally, guilt-laden individuals who are victims
of rape may blame themselves, and as a result be unable to report the
crime to the police or to seek medical attention or emotional support.
Moreover, confusion about one's sexuality and the appropriateness of
sexual contact may lead some guilt-laden individuals to communicate
mixed signals to potential partners. These individuals unconsciously
engage in a conflicting type of sexual seduction. Giving vent to
underlying sexual drives, they may seek to attract others, only to act
cold and unresponsive once the other person begins to express interest.
If sexual contact takes place, the event may be viewed as a major moral
failure and the individual may feel revulsion or hatred toward the
seduced partner. The end result of such episodes, which for some
individuals becomes a regularly repeated life pattern, is enhanced
sexual guilt.
If a behavior is
condemned by adults, there is the potential for individuals who have
engaged in that behavior, or have had similar experiences, to feel
guilty. For example, if sexual play with peers, a widespread activity
among preadolescent children, is believed to be wrong by adults,
children who participate in such play may experience guilt. Penile
erection and the onset of vaginal lubrication, normal biological
processes that have several causes other than sexual stimulation, may
present additional occasions of sexual guilt in children if parents
blame the child or define such experiences as wrong. Masturbation, an
almost universal practice among males and a very common one among
females, is another potential occasion of guilt among the young. Recent
studies have noted considerable levels of sexual guilt associated with
masturbation among the elderly as well. In both instances, masturbation
produces guilt because it is defined as an inappropriate behavior by
adults or by society in general.
Some anthropologists,
like Ruth Benedict, have argued that guilt is not a prominent
personality characteristic in all societies. While guilt may be an
important means of social control in some societies, others emphasize
shame. Although these two emotional states are similar, there is one
notable difference: shame involves embarrassment in the eyes of others,
while guilt arises from the violation of internalized values, even if no
one else knows about the transgression. Benedict argued that there are
"guilt cultures" and "shame cultures." It has been
suggested that certain types of child-rearing practices produce a
predominance of guilt, while others lead to feelings of shame in
response to the violation of social expectations.
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Sex
