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Sexual
positions
The term sexual
positions refers to the different ways in which couples physically
position themselves for sexual intercourse. Theoretically there can be
countless sexual positions, but in fact, most are variations on about
half a dozen basic positions. On the one hand, popular mythology
propagates the belief that the man-on-top position is the only normal
and acceptable coital position; on the other is the myth that not only
are there scores of sexual positions, but that no one may be deemed a
competent lover until he or she has mastered them all. The myth further
suggests that the more physically challenging the position, the greater
the sexual satisfaction will be. None of these myths is true. No special
significance is attached to any particular position, and competence in
lovemaking is measured by fulfillment, not by the extent of one's sexual
repertoire.
The most common sexual
positions are man-on-top, woman-on-top, side-by-side, and rear-entry.
Some heterosexual couples and some gay men also practice anal
intercourse. They may all be modified by performing them lying down,
sitting, standing, kneeling, or any combination of these. Each couple's
inventiveness and comfort level determines their choice of positions.
The man-on-top position
is the most common of all intercourse positions in Western cultures. It
is also called the missionary position after the 19th century Christian
missionaries who believed that the man on top was the only natural and
proper position for intercourse. They encouraged their foreign converts
to abandon their so-called "animal" positions in favor of the
man-on-top position. In the man-on-top position the woman lies on her
back with her legs spread. Either the man or the woman guides the penis
into the vagina. The man can lie flat on the woman if his weight is not
uncomfortable on her, or he can support some or all of his weight on his
elbows, hands or knees. Some women find that without this, the weight of
the man on them restricts their pelvic movements. The woman can wrap her
legs around the man's hips or back, or even put them up over his
shoulders. The further up her legs are the deeper the penetration the
man can make as he thrusts. Some women, however, do not care for the
deep penetration this position encourages.
The man-on-top position
somewhat limits the ways a man can use his hands to caress his partner,
but the woman can use her hands freely to caress the man or stimulate
her clitoris. It is a very good position for seeing each other and
kissing during intercourse.
For the woman-on-top
position the man lies on his back and the woman lowers herself onto his
erect penis. Either the man or the woman may guide the penis into the
vagina. The woman can remain squatting on her knees facing the man, she
can straighten her legs, or she can turn around and face her partner's
feet. Couples may also arrive at this position by rolling over from a
man-on-top or side-by-side position. On top the woman can regulate the
depth of penetration of the penis and the rate of thrusting. This
position also allows for maximal indirect stimulation of the clitoris by
the penis, and some women reach orgasm more easily when they are on top
than when they are underneath the man. Couples may like this position
because they both can move their hands more freely to caress each other
than in most other positions. They can also see more of each other. Some
women find that penetration is too deep in this position, but they can
regulate the depth by limiting how far down they lower themselves. Also,
with vigorous movements the penis may slip out of the vagina, which may
be frustrating.
The woman-on-top position
is less often recommended if the woman is trying to become pregnant
because the man's semen naturally tends to run out of her vagina. Of
course, women who prefer this position can simply change positions
immediately after her partner has ejaculated. Moreover, this is a good
position for the later months of pregnancy
because it allows intercourse without the woman's growing belly getting
in the way. For the same reason it is a good position for men with large
stomachs.
The side-by-side position
is a position in which the partners have intercourse lying on their
sides facing each other. A couple can start off in this position or
arrive at it by rolling over from man or woman on top. Deep pelvic
thrusting is difficult when a couple is side by side and some couples
prefer not to use the position for that reason. On the other hand, both
partners' hands are free to caress each other and the face to face
position allows them to kiss. Because energetic thrusting is difficult
when side by side, this is a particularly good position for people who
need to avoid strenuous activity. It is also a useful position during
pregnancy because the woman's belly gets in the way less than, for
example, in the man-on-top position.
Rear entry intercourse is
when the man's penis enters the woman's vagina when she has her back to
him. It is not the same as anal intercourse, which is intercourse with a
man's penis inserted in his partner's rectum
. Rear entry intercourse can be done with the woman standing but bending
over and supporting herself, or with the woman on her hands and knees
and the man kneeling behind her (commonly known as doggy style). Or rear
entry can be done with both partners lying on their sides, her back to
his front.
Rear entry allows for
deep penetration and vigorous pushing if the couple wants that. The
man's hands are free to caress the woman and he can reach her clitoris
easily. It is more difficult for the woman to caress the man in this
position than in others because she has to reach behind her. The
drawbacks of rear entry intercourse are that the penis entering from
behind gives very little stimulation to the clitoris and some couples do
not like the lack of face-to-face intimacy.
Which sexual positions a
couple uses depends on a variety of factors. Each partner's physical
comfort with a position certainly influences its use, as might their
inhibitions about experimenting with unfamiliar positions. Sometimes the
capacity to prolong or hasten orgasmic response determines what position
a couple may choose. In some cases, circumstances (e.g. amount of space
or time available) dictate the position for intercourse. Some couples
will use one position almost to the exclusion of all others, perhaps
because they mutually find it to be the most satisfying. Other couples
may regularly use several positions or experiment with positions but not
regularly include them in their lovemaking. Whatever the choices made,
couples may find that the position influences the emotional as well as
the physical aspects of lovemaking.
Ancient books of sexual
wisdom and techniques such as the Kama Sutra and its associated
texts, the Ananga Ranga, The Perfumed Garden and The
Tao, offer ways of enhancing sensuality through innovative
techniques and positions. In most people's minds, the words Kama
Sutra evoke images of exotic, erotic and perhaps even impossible
lovemaking positions. In fact, the work describes only about two dozen
positions, and many of these are easy to accomplish if the woman is
reasonably flexible. The majority of the positions described in the Kama
Sutra involve the woman lying on her back with her legs in a variety
of positions (e.g. the Yawning Position, The Splitting of a Bamboo,
Fixing of a Nail), but there are a few woman-on-top postures as well
(e.g. The Swing, The Pair of Tongs).
The Ananga Ranga,
another text from ancient India (late 15th or early 16th Century), was
written by Kalyana Malla to protect marriage from the sexual tedium that
can set in. It describes various groups of lovemaking positions such as
"uttana-bandha" (supine positions with the man on top), "tiryak-bandha"
(side-by-side positions), "Upavishta" (sitting positions), and
"purushayita-bandha" (role-reversal or woman-on-top
positions).
The Perfumed Garden
came from the late 15th century male-dominated North African culture and
offered ample and often evocative instruction on what a man could do to
and with his wife or mistress, but barely touched on her experiences.
Many of the 11 postures are quite gymnastic in nature and probably
cannot be sustained by a couple for very long.
In the Taoist counterpart
to the Kama Sutra, the author describes 26 positions for
lovemaking, nearly all of which are variations on four basic postures.
These basic postures are the Intimate Union (man-on top), the Unicorn's
Horn (woman-on-top), Close Attachment (side-by-side and face-to-face),
and the Fish Sunning Itself (rear entry). Although the positions are
likely to seem similar to those in the other ancient (and even modern)
texts, the beautiful names given to the positions (Butterflies in
Flight, Swallows in Love, A Phoenix Playing in a Red Cave) reflect the
Taoist tenet that life is a balance of opposites in which everything
that occurs has an equal and opposite reaction. Sexual union exchanges
the forces of Yin, which is negative, passive and nourishing, and Yang,
which is positive, active and consuming.
With the exception of
coitus, sexual positions for gay and lesbian couples do not differ much
from those of heterosexual couples. Gay men may engage in anal
intercourse more often than heterosexual couples and gay women may be
more likely to introduce sexual aids into their lovemaking. However, the
vast array of sexual positions that same or opposite sex couples may
experience remains basically the same.
For more information on
sexual positions you may want to consult: The Joy of Sex, The
Joy of Gay Sex, and The Joy of Lesbian Sex. Also for a modern
interpretation of the classic ancient works of the Kama Sutra,
see Anne Hooper's Kama Sutra (1994).
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