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Virginity
Virginity
is the state of never having had sexual intercourse. It is viewed
positively or negatively depending on one's gender, one's age, one's
culture and one's own personal beliefs and attitudes. In some cultures
virginity has no special significance, and young people, of both sexes,
engage in coitus very early and there is no special status associated
with not doing so. In others, virginity is required of both sexes, and
in many it is required of women only. Violation may result in severe
punishment. For example, proving a bride's virginity became a public
matter wherein the bed sheets used by the couple on their wedding night
were hung out the window for the wedding guests to view. A bloodstained
sheet was a sign that the groom penetrated the bride's intact hymen,
causing it to bleed. Though not medically true, the theory was that the
hymen would be unbroken if she were still a virgin.
In some North American
cultures, retaining virginity until marriage has been an important goal.
Many parents and some sex educators disapprove of loss of virginity
until marriage and are especially adamant about teens remaining virgins.
A chief motivator of this standard is concern about the welfare of young
people, particularly young women, who are at risk for pregnancy. A
number of religious groups also are in favor of virginity until
marriage, but their sanctions against premarital coitus are based more
on the churches' ideology.
Not all adolescents and
young adults are comfortable with the idea of virginity, however. Peer
pressure often dictates that being a virgin is an undesirable indication
of immaturity or prudishness. Losing one's virginity is seen as a rite
of passage into the adult world of sexuality.
Like most sexual
behaviors, remaining a virgin or not is a personal choice. Nowadays
there may be more ambiguity about the goal or milestone for which
virginity is being maintained. Until recently, marriage was the
clear-cut boundary separating sanctioned intercourse from sinful
intercourse. In modern relationships where the goal may not always be
marriage, new standards are set based on depth of caring, commitment, or
some other agreed upon concepts. An interesting framework for describing
some of the different sexual philosophies among unmarried virgins and
nonvirgins was developed by D'Augelli and D'Augelli in 1971. According
to these authors, inexperienced virgins are individuals who have had
little dating experience until college and have usually not thought much
about sex; adamant virgins are people who firmly believe that
intercourse before marriage is wrong; potential nonvirgins are
individuals who have not yet found the right situation or partner for
coital sex and often seem to have a high fear of pregnancy; engaged
nonvirgins are those whose coital experience has usually been with one
partner (typically someone they love or care deeply about) and only in
the context of a committed relationship; liberated nonvirgins are people
who have more permissive attitudes toward premarital intercourse and
value the physical pleasures of it without demanding love as a
justification; and confused nonvirgins are those who participate in
intercourse without an understanding of its motivation, its meaning in
their lives, or its effect on themselves or others.
The issue of virginity is
often subjected to a double standard based on gender. In our society,
boys are typically encouraged to, and congratulated for, engaging in
intercourse. Losing their virginity tends to elevate their status in
their peer group and sometimes even in the eyes of their fathers or
other older males. Girls, on the other hand, are cautioned not to lose
their virginity and their reputations often suffer if they do engage in
sexual intercourse. One wonders then to whom the boys are supposed to be
losing their virginity.
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Sex
